So what's been getting on my pip lately then? Magazine covers, as if you hadn't guessed from the title of this rant (for that's what it is under the cunning disguise of the Room 101 subterfuge).
I always thought the idea of the cover shot was to grab the attention; to catch the eye of those who follow the same interest as the magazine's subject and win them away from rival publications on the newsagent's shelf. Some magazines in the world of cycling obviously do use some superb imagery on their covers that immediately grab the eye and usually invoke a certain level of curiosity and also jealousy - Woo I want to be riding there. They have a certain
Some though, to my eyes at least, don't.
Now I'm no media imagery expert, I speak from vast inexperience of the matter, I'm just an old bloke who likes bikes and photography (doesn't mean I know anything about either mind you) and reads far too many magazines for the good of my bank balance and the world tree population.
But ever since I was a kid the photos in whatever magazine I'd been reading were always important to me, I always examined them closely - the composition, the setting, how they relate to the subject, all that blah, and also the effect they had on me. Generally if I wished I'd either taken the shot, or been in the shot, or preferably both, that was good. Or indeed, if I just mouthed 'Wow!' then the photo was a good'un in my book. Or magazine. I'm a simple sort, some folk probably want a photo to speak to them far more, but for me I'm happy that those feelings I've mentioned will do me nicely.
So it bothers me somewhat when I see what I consider to be pretty dull and uninspiring photos on the cover of a magazine - why would they do that? That looks proper pants! and so on. The answer to the first question must be that the photos do work for them, otherwise the mags in question wouldn't keep on using them, but it puzzles me for sure.
Well enough wittering, we'd better have a look at some then, and be warned, there are a lot of covers coming up, shamelessly nicked off t'interweb, and so also all shapes and sizes, as I can't be arsed to resize 'em all.
Now here, to me, are the chief culprits:
Bloke on a bike, with a hint of background in it.
Bloke on a bike, not looking happy. Maybe it's the cross wind blowing him off his bike, or is he just giving it large with the side to side climbing action? Regardless, cheer up mush, you're making me miserable...
Bloke on a bike, looking like he's a tad chilly perhaps. Not surprised wearing that get up, he should've worn something more sensible like proper trousers and a nice warm coat. Silly man.
Ah now this one really burns my toast. This has to be just about the most undynamic and sterile shot you could have. An utterly ghastly background colour behind a bloke sat on a bike. The headline articles are 'Your best ride ever' (what in a photo studio?) and 'Cheap thrills' (bikes so cheap you don't want to be seen outside on them?). Whatever, the only emotion this cover provokes in me is 'what a load of toot that cover is - zero shits given.'
That title isn't the only one guilty of cover crimes though...
Bloke on a bike but in its favour it does show a rather attractive background and convey an impression of speed, so it's not a complete fail for me, I'll give it that.
Bloke on a bike and it also gives a hint of the environment the rider was in, but somehow it still comes over as being rather insipid. Maybe it's the lighting, or the fact it has a faint whiff of Photoshop about it (even if it hasn't been fettled, it still looks like it to me). How can "Fresh, Fast & Fun" look so... dull?
Bloke on a bike and again it somehow lacks emotion despite that background.
Bloke on a bike, again. What about the girls eh? Women ride bikes too you know! But this cover shot isn't quite so bad as that background does convey a hint of the pleasures to be had from riding a bike, but all these covers just look the damn same - a bloke on a bike. They all, to me, lack passion for their subject.
Now, you may have noticed all those covers are from road bike orientated magazines. So does that mean roadies are a soulless bunch, only interested in the bike, and what socks to match with what sunglasses? Are they too wrapped up in measuring their FTPs, logging their KOMs and max wattage outputs to enjoy the sheer pleasure of being out in the big wide world, enjoying the thrills and freedoms of riding a bike? No, not as far as I know anyway. Sure some roadies are all about the data, but most are into riding for all manner of reasons and enjoy pretty much the same things as most of the rest of us, they just don't wear so much while doing it.
Why do they not feature more women on the covers though? Are they scared they'll lose half their readership in case the manly roadie doesn't want to take it to the till lest it be mistaken for a women's specific magazine? I doubt it. Plenty of women ride road bikes from what I've seen, and maybe these mags do cater for them inside, but it wouldn't hurt to have a female on the cover now and then, or even a bloke and a girl out riding together, maybe even... gasp... appearing to actually enjoy what they're doing.
I have bought a couple of issues of both the above titles in the past. Erm... yeah. Cycling Plus was alright, but seems to be a proper template jobbie, much like a lot of the photography mags these days. Best move on quickly before things get messy...
Ok... let's see some better examples then.
Whoa! Check that view out... Bit chilly looking mind you.
You've got to love the Alps. I've not ridden a pushie in the mountains, but have ridden in the Alps on motorbikes many, many times, and it is a truly fantastic experience.
The World's Hardest Climb? No kidding! Look at 'im will you, he's above the flipping clouds, the nutter!
A simple photo, but what a place to be...
I dunno about climbing that road, looks like hard work to me, but who wouldn't enjoy going back down it? (unless it is raining and you're not on disc brakes perhaps).
'The Thrill of the Ride' is right with this magazine I would say. The cover shots, and those inside too, as I have bought several copies of this mag (very good it is too, but I'm not a roadie so it's an occasional read for me), really make you want to go out on your bike and get riding, even if it isn't up some mountain or other.
You see, a roadie magazine can look enticing...
Yorksheer's best bloody riding and no mistake lad, there 'tis on t' front cover tha' knows, and reet pretty it looks too 'n all.
Another simple looking cover but the environment is included by being in focus, and the riders are more part of the scene. Morning sun or evening? Who cares, lovely road to be on.
More of the same, although it is another bloke on a bike, but rather than gurning with effort this bloke appears to be drifting through the Jockwegian landscape casually, enjoying the warm sun and some carefree miles. And why wouldn't he be enjoying it? Just look at where he's riding!
Well so far we've looked at roadie stuff, what about mountain bike titles then? Well pretty much universally, they are a bit better...
MBR is a 'mainstream' mag, but has less of the 'magazine publishing by numbers' feel of one of the top selling roadie jobs above. (Top selling eh? Those boring, uninspiring covers can't be too detrimental then...)
This shot above is a reasonably simple looking one, not much in the way of countryside, but it still has a dynamic feel to it, there's the feeling of speed and movement, as well as fresh air. The rider doesn't look posed like on some of the duffer road covers.
I think that bloke on the bike is Alan Muldoon, who strikes some of the most extreme photo shapes you'll ever see - elbows, shoulders knees, hips and chin going in all directions... If it's body shapes you want, then this is the mag for you, as the headline on the cover clearly states.
But again the image conveys movement, the rider is to one side of the frame so has room to move through it rather than being smack in the middle as in the roadie mags. That movement might be enhanced by using second or rear curtain flash which gives that odd looking blurred but also sharp quality to parts of the image, but it's still a good action shot.
It's not about the bike, it's about the riding.
Another shot similar to the Muldoon cover above, but it still got far more going for it than some of the staler efforts on the shelves. A nice Autumnal feel to the shot, as befits an issue advising on how to cope with the onset of winter, you can almost hear the leaves getting kicked up as pyjama shorts there rockets past the camera.
The US title 'Bike' is a favourite read of mine due to the general 'real world' articles (it's not all youngsters with their arses hanging out their jeans hanging upside down in the air over some jump or other) and the excellent and atmospheric photography. Looks like a woman on the cover here too as befits the apparent contents.
Some of these cover shots are a few years old, they're just what I found on the web quickly, but this one above was the first issue of the mag I bought, and the cover shot played a part in the decision to buy, it's something I can relate to and want to know more about - I want to read and see all about riding in that location!
An American mag with an immediately recognisably British cover shot. Bridleway heaven!
Ah now, Singletrack is my favourite UK read-time treat. Once again, it's real folk riding wheels on the ground in real countryside, although mostly on high end stuff it must be said, but for me it's the best of the UK bunch, although a couple of others that I haven't yet featured here do come close)
Once again, it's not all about the bike, it's about the riding.
Humid looking day...
Misty, damp woodland - lots of fresh smells, drip, drip, dripping sounds and slippery wet roots to soil your undercrackers. Girl on the cover too. Singletrack has women on the staff so they often feature on the covers as well. The roadie mags I malign nearer the top of this guff may well have featured women on the covers, I'm just yet to see one of them so I'm happy to be proven wrong.
Woo... fresh mountain air...
Now these Singletrack covers are the subscriber editions, and therefore free of wordery advertising what's going on inside, so you get a clutter free image to enjoy, particularly as the image also extends to the back cover, so you can open the mag up, hold it out in front of you and go 'wowza!' There is a lot of thought going into these covers that I highlight as being the better ones, from all the various titles above.
But just look at the cover shot above - serious ride envy going on here, I want to be there, right this minute!
And this being Autumn, here is the latest issue, due out this week. All the fun, freedom and fresh, leafy, smokey smelling air of Autumnal mountain biking captured in one shot.
So are there any properly duff covers out there that might actually put someone off riding?
Well Sportive riders can be a masochistic bunch, but this looks like hard work to me, and the rider doesn't look like he's having too much fun either.
Hmmmm... busy main road, steep bits ... my idea of hell... Whoa yikes! Fashion crime! White rimmed glasses and a white helmet... Oh I hate that combo, it's just me and my prejudices I know, but there's something awkward and gawky looking to me about white rimmed specs and matching bonce potty. White over shoes too.. almost as bad as dayglo yellow ones like matey at the back. Actually, over shoes, when worn for anything other than keeping rain out, are a crime in their selves.
Oh ok, those last two are shown with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek, they're not really off putting, except to me.
Now the trouble with all this is, as I mentioned above, one of the most heinous perps of cover crime is also one of the top selling mags, so the lack of imagination shown can't be hurting their bank balances too hard, and maybe the cover shot just doesn't matter to most folk (and it is what's inside that counts of course) but like with estate agents and their almost complete lack of 'getting' a good feature shot to grab the eye, I just don't get it.
Maybe, the bland cover shots are just the result of the modern mainstream publishing industry and their methods - template publishing. Doesn't matter what the topic, we own thirty gazillion titles from Embroidery World, to Frog Tickler Monthly and Roadie Fashion, and they all sell well using this exact same template, so all you do is fill in the gaps with photos here, here and there, and words go there. Minimum effort required, imagination not wanted. Crack on.
I have read, as I say, some of the popular road mags, and they've all (bar 'Cyclist') left me underwhelmed. Informative to a fair degree I suppose, but ultimately free of character, obvious passion for their subject and individuality, at least that's how they come over to me. Their sales figures suggest I am probably in the minority with my views, but there we go. Who knows, maybe their sales would be even better if they just tried a little harder and got away from the 'bloke on a bike, dead centre, expressionless body language, shallow depth of field to isolate the rider from the surroundings, flat looking, bland as possible image.' Maybe for them though it really is all just about the bike.
Cycling, whether road riding or mountain biking or commuting even (Urban Cyclist mag has some good cover shots that convey the subject nicely) isn't a bland experience at all though. It's full of effort, colour, movement, fresh air, enjoyment and excitement. Try some tracking shots of a roadie leaning into a tree lined bend or something, how about a point of view shot from over the bars of one bike looking at another roadie just ahead leaning into a bend? That kind of thing. Use slow shutter speeds to convey a bit of speed and put the viewer where they'd like to be, out on the road on their bike and not in a stuffy newsagents in some dieselly aired town centre. Portrait configuration makes harder work for the photographer, but other titles manage to convey so much more within a vertical format, so it can be done.
In their favour, those Bloke on a Bike cover shots are easily identifiable to the potential buyer looking for a road cycling magazine - no time wasted hunting for the cycling section on crowded shelves, its location is visible a hundred yards away and the buyer will probably home straight in on the mags clearly showing a roadie in his full lycra clad glory. But are we buyers really that shallow that we need to be so easily led to what we think we want?
Mags not mentioned above but that are on my must read list are 'Cranked' which is a belting read, and features great photography inside, but the plain countryside cover shots I must admit, leave me cold, splendid though that countryside is.
Cranked is a quality read alright, but the cover images just ain't putting jam on my scones. A bit more variety each issue might not hurt, but I still buy it though, so all this guff about cover images could be a right load of tripe!
Another mag I've recently bought is only one issue old, and that is Sender. As the name suggests, it's more aimed at those folk who spend nearly as much time airborne as an overworked Ryanair flight attendant. The cover shot is an excellent one, no doubting that, it's some loon in a bright green romper suit in mid air above some rocky terrain, one handed and with his bike horizontal.
Sender is a print mag only available online I believe, so not to be found in the newsagents.
The style of riding isn't mine at all, I'm far too old and scare far too easily for all that malarkey, but it is a quality magazine and I will be buying more. The cover image is a great one too, bound to appeal to those riders who do get their kicks getting 'rad' and honking their loam and so on. Like all the good mags I've mentioned, there's been some considerable effort gone into it, along with obvious passion for the subject and a desire to produce something of quality and worth having.
I haven't mentioned MBUK, and their covers aren't too bad, but they always have some free gift or other nailed to the front making the cover shot rather unclear for these purposes. They do lean towards filling the frame with bike and rider though, albeit in full on hoon, going for it plenty, action.
Well that's about it. So that's crappy, unimaginative, same-every-month, template driven blandorrific cover shots well and truly off my chest and shown the door to my Sin Bin.
Time for some disclaimers.
All opinions are my own (well of course, who else's would they be? Duh...) and therefore likely to be deeply flawed, not to mention 'orribly biased.
I fully admit it's easy for me to sit here and criticise, and if someone rang me up and said let's see you have a go chummy, I'd crap my myself, but I'm not a pro magazine type, paid to do as outstanding a job as possible.
All images shamelessly nicked off the web so my apologies to those I mention as being good examples, I hope you see my crime as a way of paying a compliment, and a big raspberry to those I moan about.
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