Or should that just be flipping lazy
poop scoopers? I'm not sure.
One of the worst things you can ride
through while out and about is a dog bomb. Actually, that is probably
THE worst thing you can ride through. A freshly laid pile offers
little in the way of traction, so if Bonzo downloaded his dinner
right on the apex of a fast berm or something, you could experience a
sudden loss of grip and a dramatic and smelly trip into the scenery.
At best, you get to watch the squidged mess, looking like a melted
Snickers but smelling far, far, worse, going round with every
revolution of your front wheel. Plus, if your nose is as big as mine,
(I suck in more cubic inches of air than most) the smell alone will
have you gagging until you can find a way of getting the offending
poop off your tyres. This always seems to happen in summer too, when
the heat makes the smell even worse to stomach, and handy puddles to
wash off the offending waste matter are hard to find. So you find a
stick, to remove what you can, but even that process is full of peril
as a little pressure in the wrong place can see the stick flick the
dog log up into your face, or onto your clothing, somewhat less than
desirable, especially if you're meeting up with friends or planning
to visit a cafe. Or your stick might break, plunging your knuckles
perilously close to the gooey, sticky mess you're trying remove. Even
if you succeed in removing the majority of the fetid faeces from
twixt your knobbles, there will still be a hefty pong hanging in the
air from the residual smearing over the rubber.
All that is assuming the dog concerned
had a healthy digestive system, heaven forbid you encounter the
doings of a dog with a dicky tummy, and the resultant soft, near
liquid, poop. Those beggars splatter all over the shop, and make like
the worst sort of Catherine Wheel known to man as they fling foul
particles in all directions with every wheel rotation. Run over some
sloppy droppings and you'd better keep your mouth clamped firmly shut
until you can pull over to commence cleaning operations.
So you'd think I'd be very appreciative
of those folk who bag their pooch's poops into those twee looking
little bags of doggy delight with the cute little rabbit ear bows on
top. That's what I used to do myself when I had my much missed hairy
arsed friend, I always scooped and bagged her emissions, but then I'd
walk around with my little package until I found a dog poop bin, or
failing that, a general litter bin. If those weren't forthcoming,
well I carried it all the way home and put it in the household bin.
But that last bit about carrying it
around is where I seem to to differ from some folk, who having gone
to the trouble of remembering to take adequate supplies of bags with
them, then done all the bending, wretching, gagging, and wondering
just what the hell their beloved pet had eaten that meant leaving
such a huge, malodorous and multicoloured steaming pile, then scooped
it up and sealed the bag with that deft little pooper scooper's
twist, then go and just leave the bag hanging from a branch, or on
the ground.
Why do they do that? Are they planning
on collecting it on the way back? Maybe, but it seems many folk then
forget all about it, and/or fail to see the little packets they'd
decorated the path with just a short while before. After all, people
switch on their fog lights when driving, then forget they ever did
it, despite the little orange light on the dash or switch warning
them, and then drive around for weeks afterwards dazzling all and
sundry with their forgetfulness. So they could quite easily forget
what they'd done just a few minutes before, but I don't actually get
how anyone can be that forgetful unfortunately, my mind is boggled by
these folk. They must be always leaving all the lights on in their
house when they go out, or drive to work, then walk home, forgetting
the car altogether (actually, I know of someone who did just that, and
reported the car as being stolen off their drive to the Police...).
Maybe it's just ignorance and laziness,
and that is just as likely as the first option, unfortunately. If it
is laziness, well the torpedoes would be better left unmolested where
they were dropped, for nature to deal with, than wrapped in plastic
bag and just left behind. Yes the bags do decompose, but it takes a
heck of a lot longer. I'd rather take my chances with a freshly laid
log than have the surroundings sullied by flipping plastic bags
hanging from branches or just left right on the racing line, and a
plastic poop bag is no more grippy than it's contents if you catch it
with your front wheel while banked over.
That's not a giant bag of poop, just a low camera angle. Pretty colours or fancy scented bags (the wise scoopers use Nappy sacks - far cheaper than the 'dedicated' dog bags like the black one in the foreground here) don't excuse leaving your little packages of poop for others to clear away.
A ride around the local woods will
always reveal around half a dozen little baggies lurking unattended,
and it really grinds my gonads, it really does. When I finally
cracked and fetched out the camera for the photo hereabouts, it
wasn't just because there were two little bags in one place to
photograph, nor that one was a rather fetching colour. No, it was
because these two were about fifteen feet from two, that is two, one
each side of the track, dog waste bins. Yet here they were, just sat
on the grass making the place look untidy. Too lazy to nip back to
the bins I assume. Well if you're that lazy then a dog is not the
animal for you. Go get a Goldfish or Stick Insect or something that is less tiring to
clean up after you useless articles!
If I was Prime Minister, and if
I'd paid more attention at school I could be, I'd make it law that
anyone bagging and then just leaving the little parcel wherever,
should have their nose thoroughly rubbed in the bag by the local
Forestry Warden. Or mountain biker. It's a simple enough task to
undertake, why do some folk only manage half of the jobbie in hand?
In the bin the lazy, half witted
beggars must go! Grrr.....
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