Looking for my mojo, but found something else...

It has been ten days since my last ride thanks to the usual ailments, plus a brand new one – Shingles! That's not a whole barrel of laughs either, and the novelty soon wears off believe me. So it's been a while, and even today, as I wheeled the old snotter Carrera out of its kennel, I wasn't feeling the buzz, but still, 'give it a go' and all that.

So the usual loop around the back lanes beckoned, but even after just those ten days I seemed to have missed out on a fair bit. Along Tregassow Lane the hedges seem to have grown rapidly and narrowed the lane dramatically. I can no longer see over the top of them either to gawp at the view. Whole crops have gone too, changing the look of the local landscape from my last trundle through, and it seems like all the wild flowers lining the verges have disappeared as well. 

Traditional farming in the foreground, diversification in the form of a solar farm in the background.

It feels more like Autumn than late summer, and the puddles and mud/gravel collected across the road at the bottoms of a couple of hills bear testament to all the rain we've had recently, but muddy gravel wasn't the only hazard I encountered.

Plenty of evidence of the recent rain still to be found on the country lanes.

I could've done with a puddle like this just a couple of miles later.

I recently mentioned successfully dodging the dog poo on a lane that is popular with dog walkers, but today, somehow, I rode straight into some. Round and round on the front wheel it went, squashed into the treads of the tyre like a well mashed Snickers bar, and boy did it whiff. I was in danger of spilling my breakfast, and typically, just when you need a decent sized puddle, there aren't any to be found. So I had to make do with scraping off what I could with a stick, and riding along the edge of the road hoping the gravel collected there would help scour it away. The rattle of a few stones flying up were proof of the adhesive qualities of this particular dog's dinner along with a big grey patch of dirt clinging to the front tyre. I didn't look at the back wheel to see how that fared, the delights of the front were enough for one day.

Thankfully the Carrera isn't a house bike like the other two, it lives in the shed, so at least there was no danger of bringing any remnants into the house, but they don't warn you of the hazards of dog doings when promoting cycling and the pros and cons to expect, a serious oversight I believe.

Not a lake in the local wood, nor a pond, just a big puddle. A common enough sight in winter here, but not in summer.

Other than that, it was an uneventful ride, and I looked, but didn't find my mojo anywhere along the way, but that's the way things are, not every ride can be a winner.

Coffee and Monsters.

Mornings, when things are going well, are easier for me to deal with in many respects when it comes to getting out and about and that isn't a bad thing at all, as I do prefer the start of a day to the end. When things aren't going so well, well then the whole day lacks appeal and there is little attraction at all in getting out of bed.

But as I've mentioned elsewhere, I've added another feature to some of my rides to encourage me to get out on those days when things are going ok, but might slide if I let them. Complicated business this waking up malarkey sometimes. Anyway, that feature is my Mini Trangia stove and yesterday was another proper summer's day in the making. I'd had another sleepless night as it goes, my brain just would not calm down and kept churning over things I have no control over and making me very restless. I was awake well before dawn and already contemplating a ride – there was nothing to stop me as I have lights, but I also planned to take the stove into the local woods, and they're a scary place in the dark they are, all sorts of weird shit goes down in the woods during the hours of darkness my imagination tells me, and I scare easily.

So after allowing all the beasts of the night adequate time to retreat into the shadows for some well earned kip, I sallied forth into a warm and sunny early(ish) morning. I was feeling tired after my lack of slumber, but the fug soon wore off as the gears clicked down the cassette and the hum of the tyres picked up speed. Sometimes it is just damn good being in or on a vehicle and having wheels turning beneath you. Just moving is something I've always enjoyed, whether as a passenger or as the rider/driver. But with a bicycle or motorcycle, you also get a great feeling of movement too as you push through the air and feel the wind rushing around you. Both types of two wheeler are the best out there for waking up and getting the senses going of a morning, and that is nothing new of course, as bike commuters have been in on the secret for years.

So I was soon wide awake and really enjoying the ride by the time I hit the woods and revelling in the peaceful surroundings. There really is something magical about low, warm, early morning sunlight filtering through the trees accompanied by the sound of rushing water from the nearby stream. I always make slow progress on such occasions, as I keep stopping just to take it all in, or take a photo or two as well. Early it might've been, but I wasn't alone in the woods, as I discovered when I stopped for a quick snap. No murderous beasties or munsters though, just a dog walker and then a fellow mountain biker going like a train along the path but still finding time for a hearty 'mornin'. I'd hit the rush hour obviously.

The target location was soon reached once I got going again, and I'd earned my first coffee of the day alright having had to push the bike up quite a steep path up the side of the valley. That, and the lack of anywhere to sit once at my desired spot, meant my back soon started giving me grief, but having come this far, I wasn't about to make for home without the much needed caffeine injection.

Nice spot to spend some time... but what is that noise...

While waiting for the kettle to boil and absorbing my surroundings I heard something very disturbing – a snorting and heavy footfall behind me... then a ripping sound... this really was some sort of gert beastie, maybe they work a day shift too these days? Then there was another set of noises, and another... there was a whole load of whatever they were heading towards me and at first look I couldn't see them... this was getting scary and I was just about to opt for making a run for it while screaming like a gurl when I realised there is a field just behind the thin line of trees on the very top of the hill, and the evil beasts were nothing scarier than a bunch of munching mooeys wandering about. Laundry traumas and embarrassing squeals avoided, I once again settled my over revving imagination and nerves and set about doing what I'd set out to do – enjoy a good strong mug of coffee somewhere nice and peaceful.

Thought I'd give this a go, very nice and frothylicious it was too. I've got a selection of assorted coffees to try on such occasions - all part of the fun.

The mind said carry on, my back disagreed, so I headed back the way I came.

Given my stiffening back I thought it wise to head home rather than carry on riding somewhere else, so coffee consumed I mounted up and aimed for home. Passing through the car park I found it rammed with mint hatchbacks, a proper traffic jam of well cared for small cars waiting to park. Filtering up the outside into the parking area revealed the place was awash with elasticated sun visors and Eric Morecambe shorts as a whole load of elderly folk were gathering for a guided woodland ramble. I'm an oldie myself, or at least, feel like one, but I reckon I must've been the youngest person there, and by some margin too, so that was a bonus event, even if some of them did look fitter than me. Bet cows don't scare them either...

Summer Rambles, Poops and Pongs.

It's been a bit more like Summer these last couple of days! After some seriously manky rain and wind on Thursday and Friday, Saturday dawned as a proper Summer's day should – bright, warm and sunny. Ideal for riding away some of the non weather related hassles, stresses and anxieties of the previous couple of days then.

As usual, I set out aiming to avoid busy roads and places as much as possible, but arriving in  Probus took me back to the relaxed atmosphere of early mornings while on family holidays. Everywhere still felt quiet, but there were a few folk about, going to the local shop mostly it seemed, fetching the Saturday paper and something pastry based for breakfast by the look of things. Lots of smiles and hellos greeted me as I ambled up to the centre of the village, and it was all very relaxed and pleasant - how things should be.

Probus village centre.

Probus Church tower is the tallest in Cornwall at 129 feet, or 39 metres for those who prefer metric type stuff, and can be seen for miles around, and in many pictures too, as we'll see.

Despite all this peace and calm pervading the village, I was still intent on riding some of the quiet bridleways and back lanes and getting some solitude, so I headed off down the narrow road past the rather splendid church, heading for Wagg Lane. This used to be a country lane linking Probus with Tregony by the look of things, but has been downgraded to 'Other routes with public access' status according to the O.S. maps. Just the job then.

Wagg Lane, Probus.

The tarmac surface is still much in evidence to start with as the lane drops through one long tree tunnel down to a small stream. One drawback to these sorts of routes is their popularity with dog walkers, and therefore there were plenty of doggie torpedoes to try and avoid, some so big they had to be negotiated as you would a mini roundabout. Nothing worse than getting fresh dog doddle smushed between the knobbles of your front tyre especially, as you get treated to the sight of it going round all the time, and also of course, the rather less than fragrant smell assaulting your nose. Hitting one at speed and having it splatter and get thrown about by the front wheel like the worst sort of Catherine Wheel imaginable is an event I prefer to not even contemplate, most unpleasant that it is. Then there is the lack of traction and grip afforded by a fresh pile that could result in a lurid front wheel skid and a potentially messy and smelly crash. But still, that's enough about the impactive properties of dog poop, back to summery sauntering.

Doddle dodging practice pays off when carrying a bit of speed on lanes such as this.

The climb up the other side away from the stream is far too steep for me so a short push is in order and once at the top, the tarmac and trees give way to high hedges and mud. Not to worry though, as despite the recent rain, it was just a bit spongy and not the clawing quagmire to be found in Winter.

The second half of Wagg Lane is very different, with high hedges replacing the trees and broader verges, and soil instead of tarmac.

Looking back towards Probus and its church makes for a very English rural view.

From the top of Wagg Lane it was more tarmac bridleways and blissfully quiet, easy wheeling, sun dappled country lanes to Ladock and then home via lanes I use so regularly I think I've worn a groove in them. Maybe that's why the council have seen fit to surface dress them leaving the surface awash in chippings, but hey ho.

Still feeling willing and able, Sunday saw an amble round some local woods, again fairly early on and before all the dog walkers invaded the area. Woods are always a good way to escape the world and immerse one's self in tranquil surroundings, and I try and make the most of them in the drier summer months.

So, some very relaxing and pleasurable rambling about was had then, and inner calm thankfully restored.

Bridleway Baristacrat.

The idea of lugging a small stove and kettle about on the bike, along with bottles of water and mugs and all the other guff I deem necessary, might seem a bit of a daft one. There are, after all, loads of places to grab a coffee while out and about on a ride, and I don't ride far/long enough usually to warrant a coffee stop anyway. I could just have a mug of Asda's finest instant before I potter off, and another when I get back, low caffeine levels/enhanced grumpiness would not be an issue.

But it isn't just about the coffee, it's about making a reason to go out for a ride, finding somewhere nice to plot up and brew up, and spend some time just taking in the surroundings, and hopefully, relaxing at the same time. Plus messing about with camping stoves and so on is fun isn't it, and a hot mug of coffee on a ride is most civilised at any time of the day. But the mellow start also, fingers crossed, carries over into the rest of the day too, so it's a win all round, even if some folk do think it a bit weird.

So it was that I set off yesterday morning heading for a popular location for an early brew up for me – beside the Tresillian River. There is a Bridleway that runs from Tresillian to St Clement, alongside the river the whole way, making for a flat ride – always a bonus down here in Cornwall, and a very picturesque one too.

The soft early morning sun and long shadows always make for a pleasant time to ride along the lanes, the manic early rush hour traffic (rush three hours is more like it these days) ploughing through Tresillian less so. But the road is wide so it's no big deal to tangle with the commuters, and it isn't long before the Bridleway appears anyway, and peace, the river, muddy puddles, nosey dogs (and their owners) and a mug of hot coffee beckon.

Beside the Tresillian River.

I'm not alone in my liking for carting a stove about on a bike and having a brew up somewhere out and about, quite a lot of cycling folk do it in fact, and most also get involved in proper filter coffee and all manner of grinding and filtering contraptions too. Me, well I go for 'three in one' instant coffees – they do the job well enough for me, and it's good fun trying out the various makes and flavours available. Today was a new to me sachet of Cappuccino, a box of which I picked up in the local pound shop. A good 7/10 that one, very nice indeed, but not as strong as the Nescafe Cappuccino sachets, top banana they are so far.

While sitting and chilling, I got chatting to one of the many dog walkers who pass by and who is also a bit of a bird song expert, and among the various noises to be heard apparently were Oyster Catchers, Ravens hanging around the tree tops, and also Kingfishers, a couple of which also put on a spectacular display of vibrant colour while flitting low across the water just yards away.

Tresemple Pond on the opposite side of the track to the river.

Luckily, the Bull didn't appear to be home, but I still made like Lance Armstrong on a double dose across the field just in case.

Far side the field reached safely.

A brief foray up another Bridleway followed before I headed back the way I'd come rather than make a loop which would involve heading into Truro and a whole world of busyness and motorised mayhem- beggar that for a laugh!

Most of the coffee I drink at home I hardly notice, so taking the time to savour a mug somewhere quiet is a small and simple pleasure, but one that really helps when it comes to being able to put the worries and stresses to one side for a while. For the Winter I'm already planning to stock a range of hot chocolates and cup a soups for a bit of trailside sustenance, lovely!

What It's All About.

Leaving all the crap behind, enjoying the respite in the moment.

Boil In The Bag Biking.

After a few days of being confined to Barracks with the Manflu, I really needed to get out on a bike and in the fresh air, but the weather forecast didn't look at all promising. Well it was promising something, rain, potentially a fair amount of it too. Well that's ok I thought, I'll just bung on my 'waterproof' (Yeah right...) over trollies and my jacket before leaving (I hate mono hopping about on the roadside in a downpour with one foot stuck in the leg of a pair of plastic trousers) and I'll stay (mostly) dry should I get caught when the heavens opened.

So off I trundled on the old crapheap Carrrera and had a very enjoyable slow pedal around one my extended loops. Despite being over cast and pretty breezy, it just felt really good being out on a bike again. Being on the back lanes means I was sheltered from the wind mostly, but the noise it made rushing through the trees was really quite something, really loud, but along with the ever more threatening skies, it all added to the feeling that something was coming. That slight feeling of anticipation and foreboding as you know bad weather is on the way, a feeling I love.

I didn't capture the buffety, humid, wind coming from behind me in this shot, and showing up in the crops as ripples racing across the landscape. Quite mesmerising seeing the countryside seemingly alive like that. 

Nope, not turning for home yet...

Despite the imminent deluge, I was enjoying the ride too much to take the first turning home, and the next, and the next one after that as well, always the sign of a good ride.

Grass in the middle of a road doesn't always indicate a dual carriageway or motorway...

Better yet, it only started to rain about a mile from home so I stayed dry, right? Well I was wearing my wet weather gear... but it is also a two piece personal sauna suit in the summer, and I was soaked in sweat. But that's alright, that's what the shower is for after all.

The best bit to take from the ride though was I conquered the ugly hill from Lanner Mill (here... that rhymes...). Now this hill is bang out of order – a properly steep beggar that would have some of the Tour De France lot saying 'non monsieur' I'm sure (yeah right, ok...). I've only ridden all the way up it once before, and even then had to stop at the top to get my lungs back and hold my heart in. Today though, instead of the usual take a run at it, stick the boot into it and see how far up I can get, I opted for the winching gear right from the bottom and just pedaled, and pedaled some more, and made it over the top quite comfortably in fact.

Easily one of the slowest rides I've done this year as I rarely made it into double figures on the speedo, but also one of the most relaxing and enjoyable.

Camera Warriors - The Sanctimonious Poking the Unpredictable.

While I've been in bed sweating and shivering with a near fatal dose of the Manflu, the world of cycling had a smallish grenade tossed into it in the form of yet another incident from a serial camera warrior and Youtube shamer (Uphillfreewheeler) – the 'Clown Takes a Pratfall' video.

Angry bloke introduces himself...

I'm bloody sick of all these videos from various prickly riders, I really am. Sure, some of them expose some shocking driving but we all know there are some utter morons on the road, we all see plenty of our own thank you, we don't all want to see yours necessarily. But what bothers me is that so many of the 'incidents' that get shown are nothing to get worked up about, at all. In fact, if the heroic super hero cyclist or motorcyclist hadn't been cammed up I doubt half the incidents would've even happened, and the other half would've warranted little more than a shake of head and a shrug of the shoulders. 

There is an element of the self fulfilling prophecy about them – 'fit the camera and the fools shall come to me' kind of thing. Well what actually happens is the fool on the bike goes a little out of his way to ensnare the fool in the car/truck/bus or whoever. Half the time it's pretty clear the camera bearing biker is looking for a run in and takes offence at anything happening within thirty feet of him, and if the traffic isn't passing too close, well he can always just move out a bit to force a close pass then can't he. Can't get to work without having had a good argument and displayed some self righteous indignation after all. It's the cycling equivalent of the footballer looking for the slightest contact in order to take a dramatic dive in the penalty box.

The Pratfall video really shows all that is bad about all this filming and shaming. The car does pass close and quickly too, but the biker could've heard him coming and moved into the clear area to his left where there are no cars parked at all. Better that than risk a close pass surely? Well that wouldn't make for a good upload would it? The biker then appears to follow the car just so our hero can inform him he's got him on camera. Way to go saddo!

A close pass? Possibly, but nothing really bad, but also plenty of room to move over a bit and keep out of harm's way.

Now the car driver does in fact turn out to be a truly vile sort of human being – aggressive, loud and outstandingly foul mouthed. Why would anyone want to get involved with such a person? It's never going to end well when you're dealing with these sort of people, and if you don't know what sort of person it is behind the wheel until you poke them with your superiority stick, well then you shouldn't be poking them anyway. The number of road rage attacks seems to be on the increase daily, and people have died as a result of an ill judged complaint or two fingered response. Just let it go!

Well this is going really well isn't it... Well if you're a camera warrior, probably yes.

But our hero has his 'I've got you on film and you're in 'trouble' sanctimonious pop at the car driver, and just continues to wind him up until eventually, after laughing at him, he provokes him enough to ensure violence is guaranteed, at which the point the cyclist takes off, down the pavement, and his rear facing camera gives us all a view of angry man running after him trying to kick out, losing his balance and taking a dive into the road. It was actually bloody hilarious to watch as it happens, I laughed out loud I must admit, so I suppose it wasn't all bad...

Whoops a daisy... Angry Bloke exits stage right in a dramatic forward roll. 

But still, angry bloke looked like he was going to have a heart attack at any moment, and the cyclist could've received a good pummelling at any point in the proceedings by the look of it. Not only that, but it all went viral very quickly, made national newspaper web pages, and started arguments on the forums as to who was right and who was wrong and all sorts. 

Was it all really worth it? Really? When a little dink to the left would've given the car more room? When a 'shake of the head and get on with your life' would've been far, far, less stressful for all concerned? I expect the cyclist is pleased with himself, he's attracted a ton of attention after all, but for every person who thinks what he and his ilk do is right, there is another, me included, who think it is the camera warriors themselves who are often the real culprits in a lot of these videos. Angry bloke says one thing in his ignorant, foul mouthed tirades that I do agree with - 'Get a ******* life!'

In the end, no one comes out of it smelling nicely, the driver was spoken to by the Police I gather and given a warning, but I wouldn't want to be the next cyclist he meets on the road. And that is what these camera clad bikers don't get, it does nothing to help anything and just makes cyclists/motorcyclists look even worse in the eyes of other drivers, so does nothing for the rest of us trying to get about peacefully and calmly on our bikes. There's already far too much anger and aggression on the roads, why go provoking it and making it worse for everybody else?  

More Choice - Not Such a Good Thing?

I see a lot of talk of encouraging people to get into cycling and a lot of effort put in by some truly dedicated people to try and do just that, but could the world of modern biking be its own worst enemy when trying to tempt the 'bike curious'?

Back around the time I was a smelly kid with properly ginger hair, I imagine choosing a style of bike to suit a person's needs best was a fairly simple task. You had racers of course (drop bars, skinny tyres, silly short mudguards, and oh, as many as ten derailleur gears etc), and tourers (drop bars, proper mudguards, also derailleured up), roadsters (flat bars, cable brakes, three speed Sturmey Archer) and whatever Grandad bikes were properly known as (curly handlebars, rod brakes, weighed the same as the hill you had to push them up).

Now though, things are just a little different, and we have far, far, more choice available which is obviously a good thing. Or is it?

“Can I help you sir?”

“Well yes, I'm thinking of getting a bicycle again so I'm having a look around to see what is available and so on”

“Well you're in the right place sir, we have everything you need to get you on the road. Now what sort of bike does sir have in mind?

“Erm... well I don't know really, what about mountain bikes?”

“Of course, well we have downhill, cross country, trail, enduro, all mountain and fat bikes to choose from, and would sir prefer full suspension, hard tail or rigid?”

“Erm... what's the diff...”

“26, 27.5 or 29 inch wheels? Maybe 27.5 plus or 29 plus would perhaps suit?”

“Well I'm thinking of maybe riding to work now and then, a few canal paths perhaps at the weekends so whatever is best for tha...

“Well there is also the range of hybrids available”

“Hybrids?”

“Yes, not quite a road bike, not quite a mountain bike. The 'Particular' brand is very popular in this segment, we have the Particular Cross Road, the Particular Cross Road Disc, the Particular Cross Road Sport Disc, the Particular Cross Road Sport Disc Pro, the Particular Cross Road Sport Disc Pro Elite, the Particular Cross Road Pro Sport Disc Pro Elite Pro, the Particular Cross Ro...”

“Erm...I'm not sure...about those... I might...”

“Or if sir prefers drop bars we have Cyclo cross bikes, gravel bikes, less gravel but a bit of mud bikes, endurance and adventure bikes...”

“Are they like racers, I used to have a racer – a ten speed Whitworth Wiley Whippet with Huret 5 speed derailleur and Dunlop Thornfinder Max tyres...”

“Ah we don't call them racers any more sir, we call them road bikes now.”

“Ok, what about them?”

“What sort of frame would sir like?”

“Large I expect”

“No sir, I mean would sir prefer Alloy, Steel, Titanium or Carbon Fibre?”

“Carbon Fibre, that's a bit high tech, what are they like?”

“Cost more than a small car, weigh less than a chocolate mouse with the nose bitten off. Very fast, fly up hills, but they need a bit of care...”

“In what way?”

“Don't leave them out in the rain”

“oh”

“Or direct sun”

“What really?”

“Or frost”

“Why?”

“The front end will fall off.”

“What?”

“Yep, it's the weave of the carbon fibre you see, it gets wet so water gets into the weave, or it dries out or gets brittle in the frost, and the forks snap, or the frame breaks, or the handlebars come off, but they are a delight to ride, very fast bikes.”

“I see, well I need to give all this some thought.”

“If sir buys a road bike then we also have all the technology to assist sir in his riding.”

“Technology?”

“Yes sir, we have computers that record speed, average speed, mileages, calories burned, carbons saved, cadence, heart rate, breathing rate, act as navigation devices, and can download up to three series of Strictly Come Dancing or the X Factor for on road catch ups. Sir will also want Striver of course.”

“Striver?”

“Yes, Striver. It uses GPS to log all your rides, how fast you went at each point on the exact route for example, then uploads the data in the form of maps, graphs, pie charts, bar charts, and spread sheets to the internet for everyone else to examine.”

“Sounds... well a bit scary... people will be able to see what I was doing?”

“Oh yes sir”

“That's... actually a bit creepy...”

“Well it's just so someone else can see how fast you went, so they can then go out and strive to go faster than you and make themselves feel superior. It's very good.”

“Erm...”

“Sir would need a helmet of course, and all the correct clothing too and we have everything you need, so we can do a good deal on a complete package. ”

“ A helmet? Do I have to have one?”

“Oh yes, some other cyclists will throw things at you, and call you reckless and foolish, and of course you want to be safe, and a helmet will protect you against an impact on the very top of your head. It might also catch in railings or on the ground and break your neck, but better to be safe eh? It all depends on how much sir values his head”

“Oh, so how much is this helmet then?”

“That one's twenty five pounds sir”

“Hmmmm... what about trousers”

“Shorts or tights?”

“I'm sorry, trousers... tights are for women aren't they”

“No sir, men wear tights all the time now, they're very....mmmmm very nice... mmmm... ahem...over trousers? For when it's raining?”

“No, just for cycling in”

“Ah well there aren't any trousers as such, but if sir chooses a road bike then sir would be wanting lycra shorts, best worn without underwear, and for maximum comfort a quick smear of some Boddithwaite's Bum Butter before each ride will prevent any soreness.”

“But won't people be able to see... you know... my bits?

“Yes sir, the shorts are slightly transparent so following traffic can get a good view of sir's bum crack while the tight fit will show every contour of sir's 'bits'.”

“That's a bit rude isn't it?”

“Nobody cares what anyone else thinks these days sir”

“Well I care, I don't want to be waving my man package inches from the face of an old dear eating a buttered scone in a coffee shop as I walk past or anything...”

“Well anyway, moving on from shorts we have all the team tops, so you can pretend to be Bradley Wiggins or...”

“Lance Armstrong?”

“No. Not Lance Armstrong sir.”

“Do you sell all the drugs too... <sniggering>?

“We have energy drinks and power gels if that what sir means. But if sir doesn't want a team top we have some with household brand names such as this one for Old Thrutchinsons Rancid Rat Bitter”, or there's Lancashire Tea, Durex...”

“Durex?”

“Yes, if a rider is going to look like one, he might as well dress like a co...”

“What are these funny Banana shoes?”

“Those are clipless shoes sir”

“Clipless?”

“Yes, they clip in to clipless pedals for better pedaling efficiency”

“So your feet are clipped onto the pedals?”

“Yes sir”

“What happens when you get to a red light and can't get your foot unclipped?”

“You fall over”

“What happens then?”

“You look a bit of a tit sir”

“No I meant can I still get my foot out... oh no don't worry, thanks for your help, I'll go away and have a think...”

All that nonsense is of course just a bit of an exaggeration but it is a phennom... it is a phenone... it is thing that the retail industry, particularly the supermarket side, recognises and it's called options paralysis or something of that ilk. Too much choice can actually be harmful by bamboozling and confusing a customer to such an extent that a sale could be lost.

You have had a hard day at work, the cupboards at home are emptier than Old Mother Hubbard's, so what are you going to eat? Must be something quick and easy. Beans on toast! So in you go and looking for bread. Well there's Brown Bread, White Bread and all sorts of Wholemeal Bread, which is sounding like a song... but anyway, you go for White, medium sliced, and head eagerly to the beans aisle. There you are confronted by so many options – which size tin to buy? There's buy one get one free here, 10% extra free there, buy three for the price of two and then there are beans with sausages, beans with cheese, beans with eggs, bangers burgers and other bits in them, BBQ flavoured beans, Curry flavoured beans, Chilli flavoured beans, veggie beans, low salt beans, low fat beans, low sugar beans, low beans beans - beans, beans, flipping beans and that's before you even look at brands, and sub brands – Cheapo stripey label 'on benefits beans' or 'Picked by you' beans? Who was able to pick anything at all you wonder. If you get supermarket own brand beans, will you regret it? Would the big name brand beans be worth the three times more cost? In the end, your poor frazzled brain just can't cope and you go into meltdown, you scream in frustration, lob the bread over the top of the aisles and decide to have a Pot Noodle instead.... Now, Regular or King size?

Actually bigger choice has to be better for getting the ideal product for the job in hand, but it can all seem a bit daunting at first acquaintance, and no one wants to spend a chunk of money and feel like they've bought the wrong bike, or beans or whatever. Thankfully my needs are satisfied very simply. I've studied all that is available and concluded, after much deliberation that I need a bike that is... cheap.

Cheap can also be good in fact because an entry level bike is probably (if the manufacturers have any sense) going to be 'user friendly' and not some fast steering, backside busting, twitchy nightmare, so the chances of being put off cycling are less than when stumping up a whole hill of dosh for some super hi tech piece of kit that frustrates when not used in its narrow design focus.

The other good thing in all this, is that despite what the magazines, showroom sales people and other cyclists will tell you, none of a lot of the above is compulsory or matters much. You certainly don't need to dress like a technicolour sperm if you don't want to. If the bike you choose is a bit slow up hills, or the fork is a bit bouncy, so what, just enjoy riding it within its limitations. Because if you do enjoy riding, you'll soon be shopping for another to add to the stable, and another after that, and rather than off putting and confusing, the buying process then makes sense and becomes a lot of fun.

I don't know, the things you think of and concoct in your head when you're laid up in bed with the Manflu...

Rural Rambles and Unseasonal Snuffles.

Well it's nearly 3 am and once again I can't sleep. That is a fairly frequent occurrence, usually brought about as a result of anxiety, but on this occasion it is because I appear to have a stinking cold. Now that is a bit of a beggar, given that the weather has just had a turn for the better, and mind and body have also been cooperative and given me a good couple of days with which to enjoy some quality bimbling.

Thursday started off with a ride along a new to me path, an increasingly rare event these days as I seem to have poked my considerable nose up every lane and bridleway within range. I hadn't gone up this one before as it was guarded by a no through road sign, and I assumed it merely led to a farm or something. Browsing the maps though showed it to be a path that crosses the main A30 and leads right into the middle of the village of Zelah. What a delight this path turned out to be. It was clearly once a country lane with a fully sealed surface, but for some reason it has been downgraded to a bridleway. It's always good finding a nice bit of quiet right of way to potter along, even better when it can provide a practical benefit and in this case, it'll save me a mile or two compared to my previous routing to and fro.

Pathway leading into Zelah used to be a country lane.

The object of this ride was to once again head over to a favourite area around the old West Wheal Chiverton mine, and mooch about the paths, byways and bridleways that criss-cross the area, presumably the same thoroughfares once used by the miners trudging to and from work. 

The slow shutter speed might suggest a bit of speed, but the speedo gives the game away - 4 mph...

Bridleway near the West Chiverton mine.

The old engine house is also a favourite spot for a bit of morning coffee if I've taken the stove, but on this occasion I brewed up on a pile of granite blocks and rocks a few hundred yards away. Not as scenic perhaps, but still a nice place to take some time, and also it provides somewhere to sit, or just potter about, mug in hand, examining the wild flowers.

Large Flowering Evening Primrose.

This striking looking thing is apparently a Teasel.

Trying to cross the A30 again in a different location as I headed home proved impossible, it was that rammed with traffic. So I turned East onto it and took the Zelah turning, then the road to Shortlanesend which passes beneath the A30. Not the way I intended going, but I'd still be there now I expect, waiting a for a gap in the traffic.

Batter's Shaft engine house of the West Wheal Chiverton mine. More than 45,000 tons of lead and over a million ounces of silver were extracted before the mine closed in 1886.

Then yesterday (Friday) I had another bimble about, a bit closer to home this time, and along a rural footpath that is a delight to ride, but also appears to go absolutely nowhere, petering out before it reaches anywhere useful. It is a footpath, but organised shoots take place in the season in one of the adjacent fields and motor vehicles of some sort or other clearly use it, so this is one footpath I'll ride along – it's not like I can do any damage to it that a 4x4 hasn't already done after all.

Exploring a rural footpath. When I left home the sun was out, hence the less than elegant head wear. Typically though, it disappeared while the camera was out, leaving bright but featureless skies.

I do enjoy pottering along this path though as it provides a great feeling of peaceful seclusion. The only trouble with this time of year is I couldn't navigate all of the path to the end as it is just too overgrown, and I had to get off and push in a couple of places as it was.

Random bike shot towards the end of the ride.

All in all, it has been an enjoyable couple of days of ambling about and the sun hat even got some action. Trust me then to go and get a cold just as the weather picks up!